Stealth Fart

So I love Emerson to pieces, he is hysterical! The other night Jeff and I had put all the younger kids to bed and I was getting ready to go to the store...we were out of everything! I ask Em if he wants to go with and he says yes. I expected him to say No because he has always hated going to the store. Well Jeff says he want to go instead. They rock, paper, scissors for it best 2 out of 3 and Jeff wins. Em pushes and asks for 3 out of 5 and totally takes it, Jeff has never lost. So Emerson and I head off to the store. He is telling me about school and informs me that he had the worst gas in keyboarding class and so he was farting the whole time. I laughing of course, and ask him how no one noticed. I then was educated on the fine art of stealth farting. The key is to spread your butt cheeks really wide so that they don't ripple when you let the gas out. I seriously almost pulled a Mandy and peed a little as a result of how hard I was laughing. Luckily the gas wasn't toxic or at least the kid next to him stunk more than Emerson did...needless to say the next time you have gas, remember spread'em wide to reduce vibration!